#83 Rob Brinded | Unlocking the Mind-Body Connection: Healing Trauma and Reconnecting with the Body

AUTOGENERATED TRANSCRIPT

00:00 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
Today we're together with Rob Brindit. First of all, welcome and thank you for being here.

00:05 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
Thanks for having me on.

00:07 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
Rob. So I ended up inviting you to our podcast because we normally talk about parenting, self-directed living, a self-directed life, but I'm also on this personal journey of re-exploring my relationship with my body. I have retaken doing my yoga some years ago.

00:34
I've spent a lot of time thinking about mind, body and soul, and this summer, this fall, fall, this spring, we had the pleasure sometime recently, sometime, yeah, yeah something happened and it's coming now yeah, we have been traveling, uh, for a long time, for almost six, seven years now, and this spring we were first in mexico, then in the states and in the very Bible Belt of the US. Then we went to Spain and talked also with some wonderful spiritual people there and one of the guys there. He talked about community as well, and I've been thinking a lot about mind, body, soul All of it is one, but the community gives a lot. And the interesting thing for me to talk with you is to hear your story and understanding of the body, because I find it very deep, the brief. I have peeked into it. So why did you start having this interest for the body and the soul of mind combined?

01:48 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
Oh, okay, my background is in elite sports, so I worked in football and ballet and combat sports, other things at a pretty high level with you know kind of well-known players and clubs you know kind of well-known players and clubs. And during that time I went, I created my own injury prevention, sort of what would I call it, like a clinic inside the rehab department and the medical team. And I was always interested like I've always been into Sherlock Holmes, I always I'd like to find out why. So I would get players and I would always ask them oh, how are you and what's happening, what's the injury? And I started to get interested in the patterns that they were showing me, with the way that they were feeling and the physical problems that they were manifesting. That took a few years of going deeper and deeper until I was doing a very complex. It's called posturology. I studied that in Paris where you look at all the eyes and the jaw and the skin and the feet and how everything feeds the body. It's information of where it finds itself in in reality. So it's kind of a french, japanese type science.

03:08
And um, I was about to start my assessment and go into all of my physical techniques and I asked the the player, very well-known player at the time, um, the. The comment was, the kind of joke was what's the best sex you've ever had? Because I was working in a football club and you have to give them something that gets them to go into their memories. And, uh he, he was on a, he was on a weight shift, uh device to see where he was. Um, you know where he was positioned. He was very much out of balance and everyone was quite shocked when he went on the scales. I got him to connect with this positive thought it could have been a negative thought with sex, but it's a positive thought and I balanced him out on the scales without doing any adjustments and it shocked me. No one else got it in the medical department because it was, you know, beyond their mental sort of like he'd be mumbo jumbo 100.

04:07
But I got the change on the scale. So he went eight kilos heavier on one leg to zero, but perfectly balanced. Then I asked him what's the worst day of your life? And he quickly connected with the thought. You could feel it in in in him shift and and he went to nine kilos heavier and I was shocked by that amount of change in the body from just connecting with a thought and that was about 25 years ago and it and I remember walking home that night from the football club thinking, um, something extraordinary happened. That is one of those moments in you know, I don't know about you guys you have these moments in your life where you go, wow, that's something really significant happen and I said I need to find out what, what that one and zero is. What was the strong and what was the weak? So the looking at it from a dallas principle, it it would be the yin-yang strong and weak. So 25 years later actually probably a bit more now I've gone into that heavily.

05:14
I resigned from my position because the medical team really it wasn't a good fit. What I was talking about didn't fit their model. It's sort of the reverse way the way someone experiences life and their perception and their emotions, create the disturbance and disconnect in the body and and pull in pain and injuries to show you where you have your, where you're imbalanced in your view. So, yeah, I've been doing that now. Um, so I I went in and I was working with energy. I went hardcore, energy medicine. I tried everything. I'm very skeptical, but I was using, fundamentally, a sort of a coding system of one and zero that, um, the energy in your body moves. Either it's either weak or strong. It either moves or it starts to stagnate and block and congest and then you get the problems coming. Do you want me to? Because I'm just gonna, I'm super fascinated, okay, that's why I'm here yeah, so you can.

06:18
You know that's been my job for maybe 17 years now. Um, in you know, I work with people all over the world. I can connect with them just like a computer. I was writing about I'm writing a book at the moment on it and I was remembering I had a player in Asia who has just been warming up. It was a very important game. He came into the changing rooms and he messages me. He said I've just torn my hamstring. I don't think I'm going to be able to play. So I asked him to tell me where he felt the discomfort and he said when he stretched the hamstring, he he felt it like eight out of ten. Um.

06:55
So using this one and zero code, we have an internal gps, which I call insight. Anyone can learn this um. You know, as within as as without, as above as below, if we're surrounded by technology, we also have that technology inside of us. Um. So I I connected with him.

07:15
I found that the number one weakness, the thing that was weakening him the most, was him connecting with the coach, who was under pressure for his job. There's a lot of emotional pain there, so he was kind of downloading it. So I cleared that and I cleared another couple of things and the pain was gone. He went and played the whole game and got man of the match, sent me a message afterwards. So you know that almost sounds magic but so is if you look at it. We're speaking now from different places in the world having a conversation recording it in real time. That's pretty magical. So we have this ability to connect via. You know, if someone's skilled, they can resolve anything for anyone via, without talking to them or or without touching them but rob, to reconnect it to my uh, internal presentation and talking about.

08:12 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
Often I think that was, I, maybe didn't um, I would like to present it better. Often when you talk about talk with people about their mind and soul, they almost disconnect mind and body as being two separate units. Yes, and then have also the soul floating around as a third one. Yes, where, where I, I, I cannot see that we are not just one thing. It sounds like you are closing in on connecting the thoughts with the what's happening in the body on a yes, so if we go.

08:46 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
If you want to go there as well, yeah, just to. So. For me, spirit is, um, you know, animals have spirit, we all have spirit. But, um, people talk about spirituality and spirit, they get lost because, uh, if it's like a doorway, it's, it's into the everything the external. And it's like having doorway it's into the everything the external. And it's like having your computer connected up to the Internet and you're downloading everything.

09:11
So I've worked with clairvoyants, you know like pretty well known ones, and they're physically wrecked. You know it can kill them because they're just downloading everything onto their computer. They have no physical intelligence. So you have to be super careful with being spiritual. There's no, you don't want to go in there because there's everything that can be like karmas and stuff. You, just where you want to be, is in your physical body. So this is getting back to your point. Then there's the mind, which works for me. It's for me. It's like a black box if you observe your mind carefully, if you, if I observe my mind so I'm not my mind um, I've, uh, my book I'm writing now is about the hamster wheels, the way the mind works. It works like a hamster wheel and it's glitchy and you're either on one side or the other, and I'm quickly going through.

10:09 - Cecilie Conrad (Host)
It's a lot of things to explain quickly, I understand, but yeah, and the, the hamster wheel.

10:16 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
What I've come to notice through observing my behavior in my own mind is there are five and it it's for everyone. There are five. There are five different hamster wheels that are very primitive stories, uh, programs that run from childhood trauma. Everyone has them. They're just the five like gain and loss, unable, able, paying attention, to ignore neglect. Um, I always forget them. There's another two, yeah, so they're these hamster wheels, and what I've come to understand through observing these hamster wheels is that they spit emotions. We get caught up in them and they create a reality fundamentally, but the emotions block our body.

11:01
So, when it comes to the body, mind and spirit, we have a mind. It limits us. We have a spirit that ages us and limits us. We have to be very careful with both. What, in my experience, we want both out of the body? The physical intelligence of the body connects with all the answers that are necessary, because if you do watch your mind, it's it's just saying the same thing again. Oh, you're not able to do that, or you know you should do more of that. You need to be more valuable. You're worthless. If you listen to it, it's very, very primitive. So that dumps into the body, and so it does that by the hamster wheels.

11:41
And then my final point is what I've come to understand is that the sensation, or the fear, or the, the imprints that came in as a child, as a baby in that first year before we could speak, before we could create these simple programs, were imprints of like fear, anger, you know the the main kind of traumas and the they, they. When they fire. They fire just before the hamster wheel and the hamster wheel starts, you start getting your thoughts and the negative thoughts and you start going. I need to be more this, I need to be more that. So, coming back to your point, my body, spirit, the spirit you have to be very careful with.

12:22
We're not here to be. We're here to resolve things so that we don't suffer, and that sometimes mean you have to be very careful with. We're not here to be. We're here to resolve things so that we don't suffer, and that sometimes mean you need to clear stuff in your spirit. Your mind is there just to be observed and understood for what it is, which is just very simple defense programs that are glitchy and they get us, that make us suffer. And then it's to rediscover our connection with our body and connect with the body, and without any mind, or without any mind or spirit, which kind of damages the body.

12:52 - Cecilie Conrad (Host)
That's my um, my experience would the connection with the body be not equal to, but include the staying in the present moment thing?

13:09 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
yeah, if you're in your body, you're present. The mind takes us into the past or the future. So whenever you think about something using your mind, it's it's going to be something like it's based on memory and you're going to be thinking I should be doing more, or I'm not enough, or he did this or that. If you watch it very closely, there's no presence there and it's just a hamster wheel and there's no way off. The only way off is via observation of that and that when you observe it, you're, you're, you're much more present and the more you observe it, the more it dissolves and then you spend most of your time present. And that's why, with my girls, with my two daughters, um, my most valuable work I can do is to resolve my own disconnect in my own trauma from childhood lack of ability to connect. So the more I kind of disentangle and dissolve my programs, the more I connect with my children and connect with my body and my. The physical intelligence of my body just ups and ups and yeah, that does that.

14:29 - Cecilie Conrad (Host)
that make sense yeah, it makes sense. I think what you call mind is what I call ego, but I think it's the same, because for me the mind is like but this is just a matter of what words we use to you, know describe, so for me I have. I talk about the mind like water situation where, if you can get your mind to quiet down so that you have silence, yes this is just my version of reality.

14:56
I'm not disputing, I'm just trying to take what you say and put it into what I can understand um, I find that if I can stay in the present moment, which clearly means stay in my body, if I disconnect here. I I mean, of course I'm not present, I will not feel the wind and the grass and the temperature and so but if I can do that and my mind is quiet, it's, like you know, the, the lake in the mountains yeah, or the bowl yeah um, then I.

15:29
I personally don't find that the spirit is a problem. The spirituality, then I can. Then what happens, instead of ego hamster wheel, all of the agendas, all of the old narratives, trauma things. What happens seems very real, very inspired, very focused. But that's just my yeah, beautiful yeah, beautiful, yeah, so beautiful, it can be overwhelming. I can't stay there. I have to run away and go back into my little spinning because yeah, well, um, yeah, so we're saying the same thing.

16:06 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
I think that word spirituality needs to be very. That's what I was kind of saying. We need to be very careful because I've worked with people. There was a indian lady in the uk who was dying. I was brought in because they didn't know what was going on and I talked to her and I and I was like you're, are you connecting with your spirit? Because that, that was the leading weakness. And she goes oh yeah, I have my spirit guides around my bed. I talk to them every night. It's like, well, I've never heard anything like that. But that and I said you're just downloading everything, everything's coming in. It's like you know your house, you want a door right, otherwise everyone come in you, yeah you need to close it.

16:43
So I said you need to close the door. I did it for her, but she kind of knew and she was fine. I mean she's still alive. It's just that one thing. That's all I did so yeah.

16:53 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
So, rob, I am on this um journey of um honoring my, my temple, my body, um, I've been running one kilometer every day for 11 years, the story short, and now I opted up to three kilometers. Because then I get a wonderful um little uh treat, treat from my body that releases some I if it's dopamine or whatever it is. It feels so good to have that daily run. And then I do my daily yoga afterwards, and when we're talking about sitting and being uh, being more in the body, part of me is like, oh, I'm not sure I want to listen to it, rob. It is telling me. It is telling me stories about the stress I have in my shoulders and with your minus plus thing, I'm like, oh, do I, do? I want to go there and release it and figure out what it is. Let me go back into my old contracted shoulders.

17:56 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
It's easier. I mean that's cool and it's your body, so it's your journey, right? Well, what I heard?

18:11 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
well, your hips are a little bit.

18:12 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
Your hips are weaker than your shoulders, but that's yes, yes, I know, yeah, um, and then you, you said, oh, do I really want to go? You know that is interesting. So if that was me, I'd be like, oh, so I'm a little bit like frightened, concerned, or whatever absolutely yeah okay, and so then I watch that, that's what I watch.

18:31
I don't watch. Yeah, I'm like, um, there's some fear there, and that's true, that's truthful. I just so I'd be watching it because the fear feeds itself. It's a mechanism created by a little boy, or my little boy, that at the time was a defense mechanism that kept us safe, but now it will start to create things that you really need to be fearful about and and um, so that fear will, um, it usually affects the digestive system.

19:06
If, if I observe me, it could be different for you, but fear usually feel it around there and it will create a band somewhere, or or there'll be that fear and it feeds itself. And then that fear is like, yeah, don't go there because it's you're still listening to the child. So what I would do me personally, if I would look at the thinking you said I don't want to go there because possibly I'll be unable to change it. That's possible. Like the thought, the unable, able. You see the hamster wheel. You know the hamster wheel I'm doing it very quickly was created when you, before you, were four years old, as a defense mechanism.

19:43
You could then pick up little you and go hey, it's okay, it's okay, I hear you're fearful, or you literally go to the fear and you watch it, observe it, and you see where it is, and then you can also go. Hey, it's okay, I know when you, when you're one or something, you you experience this fear. You didn't know what to do. I got it, it's cool and you, you know you don't have to do it like that, but in my mind that's what I do and I teach my, you know my, some of my big, big male clients, you know the finance guys, they do it. So it's, it's, it's very so. I would just be looking at that. Oh, do I really want to go into my body and then go? Yeah, I hear you, but I know that that fear is, is is causing damage, sort of counterintuitively not wanted, but it will.

20:36 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
As I use myself as the measurement for the world. Everybody must be like me, then I'm like. Isn't that a normal feeling for many people, that they can be afraid of working to release the bodily symptoms of what's in their mind or ego?

20:59 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
Yeah, we're talking 99. The amount of nomads and unschoolers is kind of small compared to the big grand scheme of things. So most people don't. They want to stay asleep and disconnected, and they connect via social media and the Olympic Games and alcohol and everything that numbs them, which is fine, but it doesn't last. It's inevitable that the hamster wheel will throw them, and then it's just a question whether you want the pain to be so bad that you have to go in or do you do the work, maybe sometimes painful. For me it's scary, yeah, but it's when you start working on it you realize that the alternative is much worse. Yeah, does that make sense?

21:56 - Cecilie Conrad (Host)
yeah, it does I think the two things to me that I'm just curious if you would agree, find your insights. This is going to sound banal, but very insightful, I'm very curious. But so the witness position I write about that in the book that I'm working on as well. It's a very powerful position to take on in the mind to just observe, no judgment, no agenda, just observe what's going on. And it's hard to do if you're not used to it. Let's forget about the Netflix watching numbed out.

22:35
But if you're trying to walk out of that and become a conscious person and you want to grow or whatever change, the witness position can be quite hard to stay in and it's very close to your first steps of meditation. I think just to take that one step back from what's got you think is reality, you think it's you, all these thoughts just go on so you have that. And then I think the other, so like kind of the counter, the partner, the other end of the same mechanism, is the thing that you actually always said. All is well. All is well If you can convince yourself, if you can actually believe that in the big scheme of things, if we zoom out and it's all molecules and stars and light and whatever. All is well. If I can have hold those two at the same time, that's when I really can.

23:33 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
Yeah that's beautiful and I would say the, the. That wouldn't work for me. That all is well, because it means I have to believe that all is well and that I can.

23:46
It's there's fear that you know the the whole what, what I do is meditation. For me means understanding the self, so you need to move into. I call it decentralizing the mind. My book, decentralized Mind, is where that witness, like you said, is the only way to free ourselves from our mind is to just know. However you do it, I kind of move to the right in a way, and then so you, you're witnessing your thoughts.

24:18
Um, and is it difficult? Yeah, uh, neo had to get pulled out of that thing and you know, and he, you, most people want to go back in, but it's once you've seen it, you can't go back in. So this is why it's if it's understanding self and you're looking at the truth, then it's only about observing what is truthful. And I want to know the truth because I don't want to go back. I don't, this is for my daughters, so I don't want to.

24:51
For me, when I had my daughter, it was such a a shock and brought up so much stuff from my childhood that, um, I have a snake, as krishnamurti would say, I have a dangerous snake in my room. Is it difficult for me to be aware? No, because it I know it's dangerous. Is it times that I fall back in to my mind. Of course, that's what the mind does. It tricks us. But I've been doing this for quite a time now and I can see my five hamster wheels when they go and I go into my body. So the for me it's easy to go to the body.

25:30
So, jesper, you said my body, you know, and I'm fearful. Yeah, okay, I'm fearful and you watch that. Now, that's, that's the truth. So you don't, you could say, yeah, all is well, which there is truth to that, right, all is well at the end of the day. But that's a mental. You have to go into the hamster wheel and go. I'll be able to get through this, all is well. It's part of the mind. So I just watch my mind going. Hey, just make me feel more certain. It's okay, I can see that. I'm uncertain, I'm fearful, okay. So it's that constant for me. That's the only way, and if someone finds it difficult, it's because it's not painful enough. My body is told but it's good.

26:23 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
But how old are you? I'm wonderfully turning 50 this year, yeah.

26:30 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
I turned 52 yesterday congratulations yeah, and I I'm not 20, but I do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I spar with 20 year olds physically, I do my stretching and everything. I'm very careful with the way I eat. I work at it, uh, every day, because if I don't look after that then I'm no good to my children. You know I'm no. I don't enjoy this wonderful, beautiful world. So that is like, um, the more I observe my mind, the more I'm in my body. The more I'm in my body, the more I don't put stuff in my mouth that my body doesn't want. Because I can't, because I can see, uh, let's say I, I go, I wish I could have a beer, I fancy a beer tonight, and then I observe that it's my mind. I want to get out of my mind. So that's a warning sign for me. I'm like, okay, what, what, what program is running here? Why? Why am I needing to artificially get out of my mind? Because it's going to wreck my body? Yeah, you know I'm exaggerating a bit, but when you're 50.

27:47
You look at a beer. It it's rough, right? Your belly just goes. Yeah, no.

27:52 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
I took that.

27:53 - Cecilie Conrad (Host)
It lasts forever.

27:55 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
Oh yeah, when you were 17,.

27:57 - Cecilie Conrad (Host)
We could just you know, now you have to really be mindful.

28:03 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
You do. No, I took that journey last year. I've had a normal relationship with alcohol where I drank wine once or twice a week and last year in July I was like now we'll see how it will be without. So I've been one year without any alcohol at all and it's a wild journey, but also just to see how big part of social life it is, where you almost feel like, when I'm still working with this, if people offer me a glass of wine when we haven't met. We are travelers, so we meet people again and again they offer you a glass of wine and you say no. It feels like you're saying no, I was an alcoholic, but I wasn't. I had a reasonable effect with it. It's difficult to say that you don't drink for some reason.

28:54 - Cecilie Conrad (Host)
I feel that as a male thing there as well. Maybe this is not an interesting part of this conversation.

28:59 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
I like it.

29:00 - Cecilie Conrad (Host)
But I can get away with saying no, thank you, I have a great temper.

29:04 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
Then you start looking at this social construct. Right, you've been going against the grain for years. I saw your video. It's awesome, and your kids have been unschooled is that?

29:15 - Cecilie Conrad (Host)
correct. Yeah, yeah awesome.

29:17 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
I'd love to talk to you again about it.

29:19
Pick your brain so so you, that social construct you've been going against, which is difficult, and when you meet people telling them you don't send your kids to school, in a way, is saying how are you sending them to school? And you trigger a lot of people, right, but with with the alcohol there's a what. What I hear you saying is it, it's possible that it brings up, um, you know, feelings of you know I'm not able to connect or they, they think that maybe I was an alcoholic, so you could go into that. What if they think I was an alcoholic? Well, they think I was weak and that might bother you, you know.

30:03
So, any time that there's a you're seeing something in your reality, I would be going okay, why am I having trouble with saying no, that's something in me, it's my, it's a program wound that's running yeah, that's absolutely a program wound.

30:22 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
I I came by almost surprise into the media industry in my 20s and supported my my insecurity with smoking weed every day for 10 years. So so I have never had that problem with alcohol, but I was dedicated with the weed. I think there's this week is it Denmark, copenhagen, okay very easy to smoke weed in Copenhagen yeah, yeah, yeah but it's not a problem.

30:54 - Cecilie Conrad (Host)
Okay, yeah, the.

30:56 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
Scandinavians like a bit of weed, but it's good, so usually they're very logical and brilliant and you have very fast minds. Computers and weed is a wonderful way to stop that, or just find a different angle on it.

31:12 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
Yeah.

31:13 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
So for me it's self-medication and I know, you know, brilliant, the most brilliant minds, they're using something because when they're in the hamster wheel they're going super fast. It's brutal. So, you know, they say, yeah, I smoke weed. I'm like, yeah, I'm not surprised, but there is another way.

31:30 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
Yeah and yeah, you started whittling two days ago. It's my new drug whittling. I'm not sure I'm working with wood, making a small spoon and stuff like that. I love it. I'm told to be gone oh yeah.

31:47 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
Well, that that'll be you going into your body.

31:49 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
Oh yes, but that's now. It shouldn't be a session on me, sorry yeah, it sounds.

31:56 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
It actually kind of feels. When you said it, it made me feel like it was like, oh, that sounds good it's very good for him it's right here

32:05 - Cecilie Conrad (Host)
I, I'm curious. You told this story about, um, some sports guy and he had a hard time with his coach and then he made an injury and then you worked with the emotional side and the injury calmed down so that he could play, yeah, or went away, whatever. So that's one loop. You have an emotional, maybe it is. I've been observing two things in my own life. One is, um, when I burn, so I burn on a frying pan or a hot stove or, um, if you have a wood firing heating part of your house, if I ever burn so that I make burn wounds yeah I always realize I'm suppressing emotion right at that around that time yeah either, like once I made, I leaned into our cast iron

33:05
yeah, nice burning stove, yeah, um, in the bus when we were living in it. I needed to reach something behind it and I literally put most of my weight into the thing. I had like an angle burned for weeks. It was so painful, yeah, and at the time I was suppressing some very strong emotion and big problems I had with a family member, and once I, the moment I did it, I was like this is and then, I had to tend to that wound for weeks while sitting with this thing and working on that and same thing with little things.

33:43
Then usually if it's smaller things, it's more local that I'm just going in a wrong place. On the same level at the moment, I've been walking barefoot for three months, I think. I don't really wear shoes and every time I step on something sharp okay there was a thought in there yeah a toxic one or a negative. I I was chasing a negative emotion or doing it's so interesting motion, or doing it's so interesting, it's awesome, right, it's a game.

34:20 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
It's not surprising. But then again, I I just like to hear what you, oh, it's um. I, I'm totally in agreement, the um, if you break something it's really bad it I. If I have clients who come in to me with disease, you know, like a serious disease, usually if it's neuromuscular, like a serious ALS or musculus MS, then they they've they're so controlling in their life that they've attracted the inability to control their body so it balances out the hamster wheels or cancer or anything. So the biggies are there to balance you.

34:56
When you haven't listened, the burns and the scrapes and everything are just usually. It's oftentimes on a meridian that you're hit and you look, so the footballer, he was downloading the fear and it weakened his bladder meridian, so which is in the hamstring, and so I just I can't remember it's years ago, but it's something like I just cleared the fear and so you can pick up on other people's stuff. But that's where it gets more complex. There can be five, ten factors that are building up, but usually the biggest one is the internal stuff that you're not. You know, the wounds that are getting triggered, like that was kind of saying, hey, I'm really, I might, because I am my body. It's not my shoulder. I am the shoulders when I you know, if I uh, if that gets burnt, it's because I'm I'm really hurting and.

35:58
I'm not getting it. So the body, just I don't know if it goes it was really.

36:04 - Cecilie Conrad (Host)
It was really beautiful and and sometimes when I say these things to my husband and my children, they find me a little wacko. But oh, no, it's really it's a feedback loop for me that makes total sense. I'm just so happy to meet someone.

36:19 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
Rob, I have a question. So in some ways the injuries are messengers.

36:27 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
Yes.

36:28 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
How do we learn to listen before we get injured?

36:33 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
Yeah, because well, in one, one way, that's your mind going how do I control this?

36:41 - Cecilie Conrad (Host)
yes, how do I get it? How can we do that so we don't get?

36:43 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
injured and everything's perfect. Um, it's just, it's a question of um, your fears and your thoughts and your emotions, everything are just. You feel them in your body. You'll keep having them and they get worse until you go. You know what? I need to take responsibility for everything, that, everything that happens in my reality, is coming from within me. It's kind of projected out. That's how I've come to understand it. So you have a fear of possibly getting something really bad, or you were kind of just more interested.

37:21
How do you avoid getting injured? You usually find that you can. If you're in your body, you're aware there's something building. You'll, you'll get discomfort, a bit of stagnation in the area and then it will build and build. But most people they, when they get it, it hurts and then they go um, oh, it's an accident and don't look any further. But if you do, you go. I've been really avoiding, I've been neglecting dealing with something and it sounds crazy and I know a lot of medical science. People think it's crazy. But one day, maybe in a thousand years time, medicine will be all about frequency or they'll have AI that have picked up on the pattern and go. Actually, everything started from these wound, emotional wounds, and you pull everything. It's completely the other way around from the way medicine's approaching it at the moment.

38:22 - Cecilie Conrad (Host)
Probably won't be my lifetime looking at the way things are going it looks like there's some conservatism and and it keeps being a problem that this line of thinking I mean even with you and I love you even with you you kind of want some sort of logical explanation.

38:47 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
But I believe actually there is an answer, the logical stuff is that when, like, if, if, uh, when you really start to observe, you'll realize it's the most logical thing to do. How do I behave? Like most the most logical people I work with, I'm like, well, how do you behave? No, I don't know. Well, I think I'm like this Well, have you observed how you behave? And they go no, I say that's not very logical. So when you talk with someone who's very logical, they'll quickly fall and trip themselves up and then their mind is so you lock it into place and they can't go anywhere and then they chuckle. They'll realize they're caught. So the logic of people's mind is that logic is great. You know first principles and critical thinking is awesome. That's how I like to be. But the mind, no, it's not a place you want to be. You want to be in your body and when you have a logical decision to make, you use your mind. But everyone's being used by their mind and they're completely asleep with the wheel everyone.

40:00 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
We used a few. Yeah, we used one. What's fun about your um using the word the hamster wheel is that that is what we have tried to escape on a overall basis. Yeah, we, we are now on our 70th full-time traveling with the kids who are now being. You don't know the age of our children. I don't know the age of our children.

40:24 - Cecilie Conrad (Host)
Prince's school. They are 12, 15, and 18. And then we have the 25-year-old in Copenhagen, yeah.

40:32 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
And an interesting thing for me is to see it has taken me seven years out of the system, going to an office, to, and then it has been increasing. But growing this, uh, okay, I need to be more in my body, take better care of it, because I actually have a wish of having a blast of a time on this planet earth in my lifetime. And I know and of course it's normal around when you turn 50 you're like, okay, I can continue this way or I can do my best to treat it as a, as a wonderful gift, and I'm trying the latter, but but I've been out of the system for seven years and it's first really getting traction in me now.

41:19
Um, yeah, the, the um it's an undoing, it's a removal, yeah, but I think what I wanted to ask is how can people who are not living in like so freely as we have created our life, how can they get started? Because that there's. I mean, if I should, I'm trying to imagine how it must be to go to work, put the kids to school, get home. That amount of stress, combined with taking care of your mind and body and the level of where you are each one, I I cannot phantom how to do it?

41:56 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
yeah, it's a great question eh yeah take weed.

42:00 - Cecilie Conrad (Host)
No, I'm joking well, I think a lot of the things if I can contribute yeah, please um, I mean, we are talking about body, but if we do think a little about what we let into our minds? You talked before about being mindful about what you eat. Maybe you don't have a beer and a bag of crisps, but you'll have some broccoli and hummus instead and drink some water and maybe look at the stars. That's the healthy choice. We all know that. The healthy choice. We all know that. I think sometimes people forget that what we take into our minds is also potentially toxic. So all of the looking at the social media um, except if you're actually connecting with your nieces and childhood friends and you know, but in the mindful way if it's just loading all this bs into your mind all of these agendas, discourses, way of talking to each other, images of how people look and behave, movies, netflix, series yeah, it's very harmful.

43:07 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
But if the the one thing we must remember is we, we're our own authority and through observing why we do things, or observing both what we're fearful of and why we get angry, we can start immediately. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing tube work with your kids you can observe yourself. That is a choice and it's not easy. It's easy just to get caught up in life. But I tell you what, if you, when you realize how that creates your reality and you just keep getting the same hamster wheel type experiences, when you realize that you won't ever go back, you're going to just spend your time going. Okay, I need to free myself from my behaviors and my conditioning. So anyone, anyone who's listening this now, they just need to start observing how they behave, all their thoughts that are coming up like I should be doing that.

44:03
Wow, I think constantly I'm guilty because I'm not doing enough. And I watch that guilt. Where do I feel that guilt? Oh, it's the back of my back, okay, and I keep watching that. And then I go. Oh, I keep, um, I'm scared of did it, and you just keep watching. You're getting to know yourself and through that is escape and freedom. So I know people who have go from bali to here, to here, to here. They're completely free, completely in their minds. They're not free at all. So it doesn't matter what your reality is. You all have access to escape the matrix of the mind. You just need to start observing your behavior and it's free and it's instant. I'm doing it now.

44:53 - Cecilie Conrad (Host)
It can be done. I would also say you can tell me what you think it can be done. It's instant, I'm doing it now and it can be done. I would also say you can tell me what you think it can be done in small doses, really. I mean, you can do a big change by just deciding okay, I'll do this, I'll sit with this for 10 minutes a day, and then you get into the habit and then yeah, I don't do that.

45:17 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
When I realized it was I have a snake in the house, I'm like, no, this is all or nothing. So I, for me, it was like a boom and I go, but that's just me. But, uh, when I wake up in the morning, I have a coffee and I do, I start to stretch and I observe my mind. So, yeah, you, you could take a period of the day. But then if you go back into your mind and you forget about it and you only go and look at that time, it's like you're switching it on and off. For me, I have to be on observing. It's like it's not something you can put back in the box, like when people get it they won't go back in, they go. Yeah, yeah, you know what? I'm gonna put that to bed, I'm just gonna go back into my mind and get lost. You can't do it.

46:04 - Cecilie Conrad (Host)
I think it's uh, when you realize you, you, you start doing it and you start to become really aware of your body but I I think that's what I mean by saying if you just mindfully, if you're trying to change a habit and you think about it purposefully, try to take that one step ahead, that one step removed observation point of view with the mind, if it's done on purpose once a day, then it doesn't have to be such a forced um, I think for many people it would feel strange to imagine to have to do that all the time. But if you just do it once a day, then it kind of unravels. It's like the question everything. It's like we unschool and we travel and we're vegetarian and we walk barefoot and so all these things. They spin off each other. And the same thing with the witness position. If you, if you go deliberately to the witness position once a day, then I think it kind of yeah I go from there organically.

47:13 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
I don't. I kind of just I went and with my clients, maybe sometimes I should be going just do this a little bit, but I'm like this is really dangerous. You need to be. You have a snake in your house. You need don't, don't forget about the snake, but maybe that's my um um bias and I need to observe your style, rob oh no, it is about time we could talk more definitely.

47:45 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
I would to the people listening. Where do they find Rob? Where do they get to know more? What can they read? What can they do?

47:56 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
um, I have a newsletter, robbrendercom. I write a newsletter about once a week and that's where I kind of talk about what I'm doing. I haven't I used to do a lot of videos. I'm not so interested in that anymore. I'm a little bit on twitter, but, no, not really on social media. For me, it's kind of I have to wash myself after going on it. I don't know about you guys, I prefer to connect with, uh, people and social media is, um, it's kind of like a false connection in a way, although with my family it's great if I can talk to them. So it's just rob brindlecom and sign up for my newsletter and I reply to people there and I do one on ones if anyone's ever interested.

48:36 - Jesper Conrad (Host)
But you can find that stuff on my website perfect so we just put it in the show notes we will put it in the show notes and I will hate to say goodbye and I'll say see you later. Yeah we could Rob. Thanks a lot for your time today.

48:51 - Rob Brinded (Guest)
It has been a big pleasure it's a pleasure for me to talk with you guys. I'm looking forward to reconnecting.

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